Third Trimester

Ultrasounds
We have a series of ultrasounds hanging on our refrigerator. I rub my belly and point to each and say, "Baby, here you were a dot, then a donut, then a gummy bear. And here is your little spine. Here you are covering your little face. And here is a close up of your lips and in this picture we can even see you have hair!"

With regard to baby covering face in ultrasounds people would say, "Aren't you disappointed or mad you can't see?" I say, "Not at all! We are patient and can wait until birth to see baby if that is what our baby wants!" Others comment, "Baby is shy," which is cute-maybe!!

Morning Sickness

I still have it but much, much less. Sometimes a couple of times a week, sometimes not at all in a week. I never quite make it to two weeks without getting sick though. My mom feels bad for me but I am so used to it by now and plus, like I have been saying all along, with so many serious things that could be happening I am thankful my issues are manageable!

Heartburn

Has returned! What the heck! Not as bad as the first trimester-tums can *sometimes* do the job. Probably the grossest is the few times I have woken up in the night throwing up in my mouth due to the burn. At my ultrasound the tech shows me baby alrady has hair-maybe the old wives tale is true! Fun fact: a study has in fact correlated heartburn to babies having hair. Link to study

And futher: The severity of heartburn may correlate to the amount of hair! Link to that study

Sinuses
Mine have largely cleared and we have put away the humidifier. Chris thinks the move into the moister air of Spring has helped.

Gestational Diabetes

I fail my one-hour glucose test so I return for the three-hour. I technically pass this: you need two high numbers to fail, I have one high number. But due to my family history of diabetes they monitor me as a precautionary measure. I meet with a GD specialist who thinks, with my vegan diet and happenstance tendency to not eat a lot of carbs anyway, I will have no problem controlling numbers with my diet. And she is right. My numbers are almost always totally fine. The handful of times they have spiked I *did* have carbs. As long as I eat what I normally eat my numbers are right on. So if I have a big baby it won't be due to GD!

Belly

And speaking of big baby.... People begin to tell me my belly is "big" and asking whether I am having twins. Yet my belly and ultrasound measurements are right on track. But enough people (probably 6 strangers total) ask that it must be true that my belly looks big. I am short and have a short torso-there is nowhere for my belly to go but out. I do find it kind of rude the way they bug their eyes when I say I am having one. I start to ask whether they have ever been pregnant-and if no I explain women carry differently, it is all about body type. If yes I say, then you know women carry differently, it is all about body type. Their comments upset me b/c I feel it is insulting to baby in some way though I try to tell myself they aren't intending to be cruel. So I just use it as an opportunity to educate. I smile and am very nice about it even though inside it upsets me. This approach has yielded good results. In fact, I overhear one lady who I had this exchange with subsequently relay to her friend, "No twins-women just carry differently!" So I feel good that already the information I am sharing is having an impact.

Swelling

The swelling in my ankles and feet becomes comical as I near my due date. My left foot is always a little worse than my right. Even in the morning as my right foot and ankle go back to normal my left one stays a little puffy. And as soon as I am out of bed going to the bathroom and getting in the shower the full-on swell begins! By the end of the day, despite propping up my feet in my office, my ankles have a little fat roll and I can barely make it up or down steps b/c they don't bend! People used to look at my belly and then smile at me. Now they look at my ankles, my belly, and just slowly shake their head. A sympathetic stranger pulls over as I leave the house to walk to the train. She says, let me give you a ride-I remember how uncomfortable the last weeks are!

Sleep

I have actually been sleeping better this trimester. Though I pee more often in the night (sometimes 4-5 times) I can easily come back and drift right back to sleep. I try to prop my feet up at night to help with swelling but the cairn of pillows inevitably tumbles and shifts and it becomes a sleep interruption.

Walking/Moving

I ask Chris when did walking become such a chore? He laughs and says he noticed it about 8.5 months in-that I was lumbering. "Lumbering." Let me insert the formal definition here: "moving in a slow, heavy, awkward way." Gee thanks! But I know he is right. The walk from 30th street to 17th stree has become a Mt Everest bid. And while I don't fight it around the house, I refuse to allow my stride to change in public to that horrible pregnant gait.

Dates

I decide they look like cockroaches but I am trying to eat 5-6 a day because of this study.

The Nursery

Baby's room is all set save for our ottoman that we ordered months ago which they must be stitching by hand in a village on Mars.

Due Date

I have had one intenal exam so far. "You are not really dialted but you are thin." After which Dr says I could go into labor at any time now. He also says if I haven't delivered by week 39 we will discuss inducing during the 40th week.

Work

I am working til the end! My job is very accomodating, I am thankful to be in such a positive place!

Baby Classes
We have taken all the baby classes offered through our hospital which have spanned these last two trimesters. I type our notes and organize them with corresponding handouts into a binder for easy reference once baby arrives! Things like how many wet and poopy diapers we should expect seems important and I want us to be able to easily access that info as needed.

Sex
One of the things we learn at a baby class is to "have lots of sex" in the last month of pregnancy as semen helps soften the cervix. Hubby looks at me as nurse says this and gives me a thumbs up with a giant grin, "Dr's orders" he says. Goofball (:

Kindness of Strangers
The universe is sending good vibes to baby through the wonderful kindness of strangers. Giving up their seat on the train, carrying my bag, holding the door for an extended period of time because they see me coming (lumbering) from a mile away (: Even the guys in the city that ask for money-they don't ask me for money anymore. They say, "Congratulations!" (I tell this to the partner at work and he jokes he needs to get a wig and a fake bump.) The world is a happier, kinder, gentler place as I nurture this little human in my belly. And I can't help but believe everyone I pass on the street is sending their love to baby. Thank you thank you thank you to every single person that has shown us an act of kindness. You are already helping me teach baby what a wonderful world we live in!

Today we are 11 days away from our due date. As we savor our dwindling time together as a life of two we talk through tears of excitement about how our hopes and dreams for our life of three <3

Second Trimester

My BFF texts me "Welcome to the second trimester!" It does feel like an accomplishment! Like I've joined a new club; part of a new group of women! It is very exciting! I love being pregnant. I can't say that enough. So while I don't want to rush it and I want to savor and enjoy and relish every single day I have to admit there is something exciting about answering people how far along you are when you make it the second trimester (:

Morning Sickness

I still have it. And from people say, if I haven't shaken it by now it is likely I won't shake it at all and it is around for the whole pregnancy. I decide there are worse things in the world and take it in stride. It is what it is.

Heartburn

Thank goodness this has largely subsided. It hits me now and then but generally Tums can do the trick they weren't able to do in the first trimester so I am thankful for that b/c almonds have become something I can barely say let alone see or eat.

Peeing

As a result of water not giving me heartburn every time I drink it (now, only sometimes) I am peeing a little more. But nothing crazy. Generally once a night then regular throughout the day.

Sleeping

Ugh. I am sleeping horribly. I have *no problems* falling asleep. And usually it is still pretty early. Not "building a placenta" early but still earlier than usual. The problem is waking up. Usually around 3am and then I am just "up" until the alarm goes off a few hours later. I do not look at the clock, at least not right away. I try to tell myself it is 11pm and I have all the time in the world to relax and drift back to sleep. But my mind usually won't allow this. I am not "worried" I just can't clear my thoughts. I sign up for pre-natal yoga classes online. I loved yoga and attended religiously for years before law school. I know how good for mind body and spirit it is so I think this will help.

Food

Thank heavens I can stomach greens again! I am back in the world of salad and I love it! Aside from almonds and anything "almond-related" I don't have any cravings or aversions. My body will be hungry but nothing sounds appetizing. I play the game, "If I could eat anything in the world at this moment what would it be" and still I draw a blank. So I eat little bits of healthy whatever just to appease my body but I don't really enjoy it.

Love

We had a scare at 16 weeks. At work I went to the bathroom and there was blood. Like, a lot. More than my miscarriage. I don't really want to relive that day in these writings because thankfully everything was ok. We called the Dr office and they said go to the ER. The ER took us back immediately and performed ultrasounds and did an exam. Sometimes bleeding happens and the reason can't be identified. Which is fine. I would rather have "no reason" than have a problem. So sex was out for a few weeks and even now that we have the green light it is only a few days until our anatomy scan so I would just like to wait until those results just to be sure! I should say, though it is making me cry to remember details of that day at all b/c it was so scary, the cab ride from our center city offices to our suburban hospital was very tough. I was crying, a lot. And saying all kinds of things to Chris about my feelings-unedited. Not something I would usually do in a taxi but everything was so raw at the moment. And the driver, as he dropped us off, was hesitant to say anything at all but kindly said his wife had the same experience and they now have a happy healthy son, 9 years of age. That was very very sweet. And he was right, everything was fine and I have had zero bleeding since. And I will close this topic by saying I "know" bleeding doesn't mean something is wrong necessarily. The thing is though-I told myself that the first time around and I lost my baby. So I was highly sensitive to this situation and while my mind knew chances are high everything is fine my heart refused to take comfort in this. Through the questioning of Triage and the drs/nurses I kept my composure until they would ask, "Is this your first pregnancy?" at which point I would look at Chris and can't hold myself together so he answers. Each time the staff responds with such understanding and kindness-a touch on my leg, a hand on my shoulder. I sense they see that as level-headed as I try to be, I am scared. They are awesome.

Sinuses
My nose is stuffy in the middle of the night and when I wake up. The mornings it feels so dry it's like I've been hiking through the desert all night. We bring the humidifier down from the attic and this helps with the dryness. I am still stuffy as compared to my "usually not stuffy at all unless I'm sick" state but it is manageable. And there is blood when I blow my nose. This is also not the norm for me but it isn't scary amounts and I know from my pregnancy apps this is normal. Take a look: http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/symptoms-and-solutions/nasal-congestion.aspx

Registry
This was a labor of love. It was like writing a thesis, honestly. I'd have a draft list. I'd sit in front of the computer all weekend long literally all day and research and compare and decide. Then I'd step away for a few days and come back to tweak and edit. Then come back a few days later and repeat. Some items took longer than others to research like strollers, car seats, and mattresses. But really, I research everything to the Nth degree. Remember, we are the couple that spent weeks picking out our kitchen faucet (; Finally, I get to a point that when I view the list I have no changes. I return a few days later to review and still-no changes. I decide it is complete! Now when I look at the list and scroll through the onesies and nursing pillows and diaper cream it is literally like looking at a list of love. It is palpable, the love I feel looking at these items for baby <3

Babymoon
I haven't ever really been "a beach person" but something about laying on a quiet beach is endlessly appealing to me and I long for a beach babymoon. But, zika is a real threat. And the weather isn't warm enough at the beaches close to us to make my vision a reality. So we choose 5 nights in Chincoteague and Assateague for a quiet off-season stay. I cry as it comes to an end and in pinpointing why it is because "baby" is approaching. We have only one thing left between now and baby, our shower. And something about that is so emotional for me. I think a little fear and anxiety sneaking in.

Baby Shower
My sister plans our co-ed baby shower. Aside from the date and the location (our house) everything is a complete surprise. It is one of the best days of my life. Even though I wouldn't describe myself as hard to please, I have very specific likes and dislikes and that makes it hard for people to get right. Except my sister gets it perfect. Every single detail is just perfect. One of my favorite things was her request that guests bring a book and write a message in the cover. We have been reading to baby ever since. And the tender messages written by our friends and family move us every time. Likewise, the "advice" cards she asked people to complete make us laugh and cry at the same time! Again, just all so thoughtful, so perfect. Though I tell her, I wonder if she will ever know how I will hold the day in my heart forever <3

I tell Chris we need to pick a book and write baby a message too! I choose my favorite childhood story Where the Red Fern Grows. The details have faded over the years but I remember of course the general takeaway: the love and loyalty between the boy and his dogs. I had been thinking to re-read it before baby arrives so in the note *I* write in the cover can speak specifically about the emotions and lessons within that have stayed with me all these years. But as I sat down and opened the book I stopped myself. Crying (of course! happy tears!) I thought maybe the note should say yes how the story is love and loyalty but then that the story has faded and I can't wait to rediscover it again together with baby! This felt so right.

Chris's childhood pick: Richard Scarry books! The ones with the worm wearing a hat. 

Go Bag
Because my BFF had complications and delivered at 28 weeks I have been preparing early. I spend a lot of time researching online to see what I really need/don't need to pack. I like to keep things simple and I am amazed at how cumbersome some people make this task! But to each her own! My bag contains: going home outfit for me (stretchy pants and a tunic) and baby (Welcome to the World gown with hat and built-in mitts), a small toiletry bag with some of my favs (they offer this at the hospital but I have soothing stuff that I think will be nice to have), a new pair of flips for walking around the hospital or getting in the shower, a phone charger, my exercise/birth ball, baby's musical stuffed lamby, and a couple of snacks (a few kind bars and crackers-hoping we can grab some fresh fruit too on the way out the door)! Oh, and an empty big bag to carry things from the hospital home in <--- that was something someone suggested online that actually seemed like a good idea.

Hubby's go bag is similar but his also includes a folder for any paperwork (also a suggestion from online).